There are many levels of friendship in our lives. Some people are simply acquaintances. Some are “fair weather” friends. Some are friends when it’s convenient. There are some who are extremely friendly only when they need you for something.

A friend of mine said, “ If you have 7 real friends in your whole lifetime, then you are truly blessed.” That made me start thinking about what makes a meaningful friendship. A friendship is a relationship. We must remember to honor and respect each other within all our relationships, through forthrightness, honesty, clear communication and trust!

Friendships don’t just happen. They require attention, nurturing, love and energy to create them and keep them alive. Friendships require our time. The time to talk and share our thoughts and feelings, to enjoy a meal together, to just be alone together as well as interacting with larger circles of friends with each other. As friends, there are good times of celebrating and enjoying life together. During the bad times like when you are sick, depressed or grieving the loss of a loved one you know you love your friend when you are moved to bring over chicken soup (I mean that literally and metaphorically!) and spend some time to keep them company and cheer them up.

Friends remember to reciprocate energy into the relationship. To make a genuine friendship/relationship, both people involved do the inviting and calling up as well as ‘doing’ for each other with loving actions and words naturally of their own accord. Within good healthy relationships, we find that we are seen at our highest potential by our loved ones and all the good we are as well as being loved with our flaws.

I have observed that sometimes friendships go through cycles, especially in long-term relationships. There are times when we just can’t or don’t feel like spending as much time together as we might at other times in our friendship. But in a real loving relationship, this is normal and often is the rhythm of the friendship. It doesn’t mean we care for the other less, it’s just the ebb and flow of the relationship and what part of our Divine Plan we are in. I remember reading somewhere that sometimes we must “let the winds of heaven flow between us.” Hmmm . . . sounds like Gibran.

Our friends and relations provide us with a Magic Mirror of what we must heal and look at within ourselves. It gives us the gift and the opportunity to observe ourselves and make improvements in our thoughts, words and actions. When we are really serving the Higher Purpose, it provides the gift and opportunity, not only for the challenges being presented with a friend or a circle of friends, but also for anyone who might be observing what is going on within our lives or within the lives of whom we are interacting.

We are constantly being presented with a venue to heal the various issues from our past, whether it is from this life or another. Circumstances provide Mirrors of the self. We can only look within and remember that when we are pointing a finger at someone else, in thoughts or verbally, there are three pointing back!

Strong bonds of friendship develop over time, sometimes many years, undergoing and withstanding strong shocks of adversity. Most misunderstandings or conflicts really stem from unmet expectations. When we have no expectations we can have a lot more happiness in our lives and we all can be free to be who we truly are. With honest communication, love and compassion, the friendship has the potential to grow stronger and deeper through any hardship or discord.

True friends are able to forgive and have compassion and love without judgment. We can easily be who we truly are without feeling that we must walk on eggshells or turn down the wattage on our brilliance! Instead we feel encouraged to shine our Light brightly and therefore, live life truly and deeply. No one else can lessen the brilliance of another. We are all responsible for our own Light and how we use it on the Planet in accordance with the Divine Plan. In a healthy relationship we feel the connection and genuine support of each other. A sincere friend can easily look at the bigger picture. No matter how the other has acted or what he or she has said or done, it comes back to our own unmet expectations. When we are clear within ourselves about our needs and wants, then our friendships are perfectly balanced. According to Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, don’t take anything personally and do not assume anything, be impeccable with your words and always do your best.

I realize it is much more important that I am the good genuine friend and all else falls into place from that basis. My Grandma Lorenzo used an expression for cooking that I feel applies to all aspects of life. Of course, she said it in Italian yet it translates, ”If you put all good things into it with Love, then how can it be anything but good?”