The ability to communicate is truly a fine art. First we have to arrive at our own personal truth. We have to know ourselves, what we want in our lives, what we do not want in our lives and be able to express that with words and actions. In the Beginning there was the Word. The Word is what truly manifests our reality. When we are not clear on our own personal truth, our own personal integrity and are unable to speak it with clarity and from a place of Love, then many things go haywire.

It seems that we are unable to ‘tell the truth’ when we are insecure, have fear of confrontation or perhaps it is actually passive aggressive behavior or pure lack of respect for our friends and family. When we are in relationship with someone, it is vitally important that we have enough personal power to speak our truth and communicate what we want and how we feel. If we don’t, then in many ways, we are not honoring ourselves nor are we honoring that friend or family member. This is done not only with our words, but also with our thoughts and actions. We all know the expression: ‘actions speak louder than words.’

As we move deeper in our relationships, over many years of ups and downs, a strong level of trust and integrity in a relationship develops based on history and experience. A foundation is formed because of the time we invest in our relationships. Usually, in healthy relationships, the two people involved, love and respect each other enough that it is worth moving beyond our personal fears of confrontation and we speak the truth because the relationship is worth feeling the fear and taking the action to preserve it. We move beyond selfish, self focused behavior and act in accordance with what is best to maintain that relationship.

When we act in a way that we are taking into account the feelings of others, we are acting with true consideration and kindness. When we act and think as a ‘we’ instead of just ‘me’, then we do whatever we can to preserve the love developed over time. It is much better to speak the truth, with love and compassion, then to leave things unsaid, hidden or secretive because we aren’t ‘brave enough’ to let the other person know how we feel. We are in relationship to mirror things back and forth so we can grow up. If one of the people in a relationship stops participating by not speaking or communicating in some way, then the relationship can shrivel up and die.

On the flip side, there is also a time when it is best to say and do nothing for a while to allow the time and space for healing, clarity and confidence to be restored or activated after lack of communication, hurtful actions or words or misperceived assumptions. Again, this is the fine art of knowing that sometimes retreat is much more powerful than action. When we find ourselves not knowing what to do, sometimes it is best to do nothing and wait for inspiration and clarity to return.

It is important that we speak up for our truth and ourselves. It is when we don’t that we often make things much worse. Eventually the relationship dies because we aren’t feeding it and nourishing it due to lack of respect. This respect is not just respect of the person with whom we are in a relationship; it is also respect for oneself. The level of trust in a relationship diminishes, when we act secretly, withhold our feelings, stop communication and withdraw for too long. It takes two people to have a relationship. Both must communicate. And this, my friends, is truly a fine art!

It is a fine art to find a balance of honoring oneself while simultaneously honoring how our actions or lack of action may affect another. When I have mastered this fine art, or when I feel that I am closer to it, I will share my revelations. Until then . . .

May we all know our Truth. May we all Speak our Truth. May we all be our Truth. And may we always do so from the center of our Sacred Heart from a place of Love, Light and Well-Being.

Wishing you Happy Loving Healthy Relationships!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Many Blessings and Much Love,

Margaret